Her Last Breath
by Gip
Summary: This used to be a songfic I wrote, but since songfics aren't allowed anymore I reworked it and broke it into parts.What happens when the pain of losing the only person who completes you is too much to take? Is there life after death?
1. Hold On to Me

_Hold on to Me Love _

Skittery slowly ran his fingers down the sleeping girl's soft back and smiled at even in her sleep her body reacted to his touch. He propped himself up on his elbow and slowly danced his fingers down her spine to where her back meets her hips, stopping to linger. He smiled thinking about the nights activities and bit his lip his eyes clouding over in thought.

_She had laughed at the look on his face as she took off her shirt slowly. For once Skittery didn't mind being laughed at as he stared at her dumbly. _

"_You like?" She asked him with a playful shake of her hips but before she could be embarrassed by him saying anything she pounced on him, pushing him back on the bed kissing him deeply. _

_Skittery rolled them over hovering over her. He smiled down at her his hair hanging in front of his eyes and licked his lips looking like he wanted to say something, but couldn't find the words._

"_Nervous?" She asked him softly her eyes for the first time since he met her uncertain. He snorted at her question and kissed her again, but hoped she couldn't feel the sweat forming on his palms._

"You better stop or you won't be able to walk right for selling," Bitter voice pulled him out of his daydream. He looked down at her and smiled realizing he had been kissing across her shoulder blades with his hand on her rear as he thought of her.

"Oh yeah?" he grinned, a rarity for the newsie except when he was with her, "You gonna work me over?" he asked.

"You won't be able to handle it," She smirked.

"Try me," He smirked his eyebrow twitching in a playful dare. He smirked as she pushed him on his back and kissed up his chest. "Bit? I know… I mean I know you hate mushy but…" he took a deep breath and faltered, but hoped to quickly cover himself not saying what he longed to say, "you're gorgeous," he said softly, screaming at himself the moment it was out.

"Well I-

"No." he interrupted. "No, that's not what I wanted to say," he said then looked away from her, a small blush developing over his cheeks. He looked back up at her and put his hand on her cheek. "I love you," he said softly. "And I'm not asking for you to say it back… I just- wanted you to know." He said softly.

Bitter looked down at him for a few moments before slowly smiling. "You mean that?" she asked then smiled wider when he nodded. She leaned down kissing him quickly. Not her normal hungry passionate kiss- but a soft loving kiss. "I love you too," she whispered then smiled when she felt him the same.

Skittery leaned over her kissing her a bit deeper his hand tangling itself in her hair as he shivered at her hands going up his back. Not being able to get enough of her he kissed down her neck his other hand going up her side.

"Tell me it's forever," Bitter said through a soft moan.

Skittery paused his kisses on her neck smiling, his lips barely touching her soft skin, then kissed up the rest of her neck to her ear before whispering. "Beyond forever,"


	2. Safe Inside Myself

_Safe Inside Myself_

"Skittery… Skittery!" an old voice called, shaking him from his dreams of her. "Rough night boy?" Kloppman asked then sighed patting his arm. "C'mon… presses are rollin'," the old man mumbled before shuffling out of the room.

Skittery sat up and rubbed his eyes with a yawn, another fitful night with hardly any sleep. His nights were spent of dreams and memories… some good- some bad, mostly of the end and things he should have noticed.

"Morning Skitt," Specs said from his bunk as Skittery hopped down from his. Skittery nodded to him and made his way to the washroom rubbing the back of his head, his shoulders slumped. He walked to the sink with his eyes down trying to avoid the other boys frolicking around him.

"Today ain't gonna be good for him," Race said slipping his vest on and buttoning it up his cigar in one of his hands making him fumble.

Specs nodded. "He was dreaming about her all night. Made me miss her all over again," He said leaning against the bunk Skittery and him shared. Specs wanted to shake him from his dreams the night before, but knew how proud Skittery was. Skittery only had a few things left, and pride was one of them.

"We all do," Race mumbled around his cigar before clapping him on the shoulder and heading out of the room, digging in his pockets for his matches. One thing Race didn't want to mess with was a grieving Skittery.

Skittery walked out of the washroom into an empty bunkroom, after sitting in a stall trying to calm his nerves. Silence. Something Skittery had come to value. It was something he rarely received, something he only got when he was alone. Everyone always wanted to talk, to get that look in their eyes, that God Damned concerned look before asking 'How you holdin' up?'

Four words… four simple words… four hateful words. He wanted to scream every time he heard them. How did they think he was holding up? Why couldn't they just let him be, just not talk to him and let him think? No… that wasn't the way of the Newsies. Specs would tell him it was because they were family- but they weren't family. She was his family, and now she was gone.

Slowly over the last year the questions stopped and turned into a soft look, or a pat on the shoulder. Something about that form of sympathy hurt him even more. They were always so scared he was going to break. If they said anything about their girlfriends or a great girl they met, they would look to Skittery; to see if the broken one was crying all over himself in a pool of piss and snot. He never was, not because he didn't want to, but because he wouldn't. Not in front of them.

Skittery trudged over to the window and looked down at Duane Street hearing his friends shouting. He watched them throw snowballs and knock each other into the snow banks and found tears burning his eyes.

_Didn't they know what today was? Didn't they…_

He blinked his eyes quickly and clenched his jaw; he wouldn't cry… he was sure he had no tears left. He was dried up, just a body walking around hoping to forget her. He put his forehead against the window pane and sighed the cold glass reminded him he was still alive. It had been a year. The longest and hardest year of his life and surprisingly to all he was still breathing.

He blamed himself… of course he did. He blamed himself for everything he was sure he did wrong. He blamed himself for not giving her his jacket… for not making her go to the doctors when the cough wouldn't go away… for not ordering the others to give her their blankets and coats when she was shivering. Most of all he blamed himself for not seeing the blood in her handkerchief until it was too late.

As hard as it was to watch her die, it was harder for Bitter to actually let out that last breath. She had always been so strong and independent, not needing anything from anyone and she would be the first to tell you that. In the last month she couldn't even get to the washroom without help, Skittery hated watching her pride slowly leave her. She fought so hard the Tuberculosis took her slow. Slowly killing her for over a year leaving her a shell of the one tough Brooklyn girl that would do anything for him… even though he prided himself that he never asked her of anything. Except dying.

_You still died… even though I begged you not too…_


	3. A World of Fragile Things

_A World of Fragile Things_

Skittery stuffed his hands into his pockets trying to forget about the cold as he trudged down the crowded street. He was surprised how the cold and the superficial conversations made it easier not to think of her. One year today his life fell apart and people were passing him telling him Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas? There was nothing merry about it… He hated Christmas, and everyone who told him to enjoy the day. He hated watching men hold their women close to keep them from the snow, hated seeing children run up to their mothers… He was never going to have that… not with her and that's all that mattered.

He shivered as the snow seemed to encircle him as he made his way past the park, not looking in. The park always reminded him of her; that is where they had their first kiss. An awkward quick kiss... after he ran away after screaming at himself for being so stupid… but it made her want him. It made her go after him, something no one thought the Brooklyn girl would ever do. He never realized with that one kiss his life would begin. Now… it just hurt too much to walk past the place where they would meet after selling. Most days he avoided it all together, going a mile out of his way not to go past it, but today he found himself in front of it. He sped up as he walked past, hoping to forget it even existed.

Skittery turned quickly when he thought he heard his name. "Bit?" He asked. "BIT?!" he called, his body stiff but he found his legs carrying him across the street towards the park in a run. He looked around his eyes searching for her. "Bitter?! C'mon baby. Tell me where you are," he called his mind clouding over with thoughts of her. She came back… she came back for him. He ran towards a cluster of trees where they always met. That's when he saw a small figure, barely showing through the snow. He smiled watching the short girl leaning against a tree like Bitter always did as she waited.

"Bit? BIT! Where are ya?" he called when he reached the trees. "Bitter! C'mon baby." He said running in to the trees tears in his eyes. He was so close, she was there! She had to have been… it was her voice.

"Skittery?" A voice called behind him making him spin around quickly.

_Come Find Me_

"Skitt… buddy what are you doing?" Specs asked a questioning look in his eyes. He had seen Skittery sprinting through the park and something about the look on his face made him uneasy.

"Specs! Help me find her!" he ordered.

"Find who?" Specs asked carefully.

"Bitter, she was just here- calling to me to come find her," He said going deeper into the woods. "I just… I JUST CAN'T FIND HER!" he screamed bending just a bit as he waist tears coming to his eyes.

"Skitt…" he said softly with a sigh. When Skittery didn't answer he caught up to him grabbing him by the shoulder making him turn around. "Skittery!"  
"What?!"

"She ain't here." Specs said shaking his head his hands on his shoulders still making him listen.

"Yes she is! She was calling me!" Skittery shot back quickly pushing his chest causing Specs to stumble back.

"No. No she ain't! She's gone," he said going back to him quickly grabbing him by his shoulders shaking him just a bit. "She's dead Skittery. She's gone."

"No… No she was here!" he yelled grabbing Specs by his shirt pulling him closer just a bit in a threatening way. "SHE WAS! You don't know what you're talking about… she…" he stopped his chin quivering just a bit. "Tell me she was here…" he pleaded.

"Skitt.."

"No!" he yelled pushing him away and started out of the woods, but his tears caught him off guard and he leaned his head against a tree letting out his first sob.

"Skitt…" Specs sight going up behind him putting a hand on his back.

"No!" he yelled turning around a tear rolling down his cheek. "You don't know what it's like! You don't get it! I live with this every day! They said it was going to get better- IT'S NOT BETTER! It's never going to be better! It's not! Don't tell me some bullshit about how I should move on and forget her… I can't… she is everything. Everything Specs- don't you get it!? Just… Fuck off!" he yelled and stormed away from the shocked newsie, who he thought was his friend.


End file.
